Intelligent Rantings...

On the way home tonight (I did not leave the office until after 7pm) I felt the sudden weight of adulthood. And it made me wish for simpler times. What brought this on? Well...for those of you who are not aware, I just started a new job. And tonight, after the big boss left, the fun talk started. It's amazing what people will say when the big boss is not there. Seems that there are a lot of skeletons in the closet and lots of hurt feelings. And the most astonishing thing was that when they were contemplating whether or not to hire me, the owner and his wife seriously discussed asking me to sign a 5 year binding contract to work there. Um...hello...this is America. It's called employment at will. Even in the most socialist European country you cannot force a worker to stay.

So my head is still reeling from all the gossip and skeletons. I come home to find that my landlord has returned from his trip to his other home in California. I used to like my landlord. That was until I found out he was a cheating scumbag. He has a girlfriend, who is his business partner, who lives in California. He spends a few months in CA and then a few months out here with short jaunts in between. While he is here he rotates women. It's like a cycle: whenever he comes back for a few months, there is a new girl. He has admitted that if his girlfriend in CA found out she would leave him. So when I saw him and his new girlfriend as I pulled up, I got physically ill. The thought that he had probably, the night before, slept with his girlfriend in CA and is now going to do the deed with this one without 24 hours passing between the events was enough to make me wanna hurl. And some people wonder why I have a hard time trusting men? Think about it.

So why the full force of adulthood on my shoulders all of a sudden? Because I realize that I cannot run away. I cannot run from the control-freak boss. I cannot run from the dying city of Hartford. I cannot run from my sleazy landlord. I have to deal. Just deal with it.

I think that's the true meaning of adulthood and maturity - standing and dealing with the issues. It's not easy, but it will make you stronger. I also realized that this is where it is that much more important to just rely on God for strength. Because right now I am not even sure how I am going to handle walking into the office tomorrow. So I think I am going to just "take it to the Lord in prayer"...I've found it really helps to clear my mind and get a better night's sleep.

Later!